An opine on November.

There’s a rich tradition we Americans celebrate in this country on November. The anticipation literally grows as we get closer and closer to that special date. For the millions who take part in this time-honored and patriotic duty, there are those who find themselves disappointed, while others rejoice and turn to places like social media to herald the great news.

I’m talking of course, about No Shave November.

Once the 11th month of the Gregorian calendar officially arrives, my Facebook newsfeed fills up with two topics of discussion: beards, and the election. For my blonde friends, No Shave November often produces a time of strife and spitefulness for my darker-haired companions. It’s a general rule that blonde people grow awful beards, and their daily cell phone pics uploaded throughout the month are testament to this scientific fact. For my brunette buddies, thick, lustrous manes can be achieved in a matter of days. With the autumn air quickly cooling this time of year, new beards help insulate the face from the elements, so despite the wordplay in its title, No Shave November doesn’t only make grammatical sense; it’s the perfect barometric month to celebrate this venerated observance.

I don’t know what red-headed beards look like because I make it a point not to befriend gingers.

If there could be a clear champion in No Shave November, it would be the homeless. You may think they cheated by growing their beards year-round, but life has already cheated them so the hoodwinks cancel out. I vote for the homeless to win.

Speaking of being homeless, we had an election yesterday. Did you vote? Unless you’re a child, a living ex-president who served two terms, living in prison or just a dumbass, you better have gone to the polls. Another time-honored November tradition is America’s presidential election. Four years ago, Barack Obama campaigned on the idea of hope and change for this country. Now, four years later, the re-election he hoped to win succeeded by an even narrower margin than in 2008. Way to move us forward, Mr. President.

In the age of mobile internet, social media and shitty beards, we’re more connected to one another than ever before. Even homeless people have access to the world wide web, if only at the public library. The candidates for president launched all kinds of new ways to reach potential voters this time. How many of you had to sit through campaign ads before watching the “Gangnam Style” video on YouTube? On Facebook, your friends, your family and your co-workers you were too cowardly to deny requests from all posted their thoughts and mind-crushing opinions about the candidates. I have my own personal convictions about politics, but with this being my third presidential election, I have become increasingly put off by the process. I’m not bipartisan. I’m not nonpartisan. If anything, I’m unpartisan. I’m starting to detest politics yet I still feel obliged to follow through with my civic duty to vote. In my three elections, I’ve been on the winning side once and the losing end twice, yet the older I get the less I truly care about either outcome. The connectivity we enjoy nowadays has given rise to so much political coverage in my mailbox, my inbox, my television, my radio, my computer and my phone that once it’s all finally over, I just want to crash. Forget the candidates – they chose to take this long and grueling road – the election is tougher on the voter. We never asked for 50 pieces of mail a day for three months, or political attack ads throughout new episodes of “The Walking Dead.”

And I’m a professional writer yet I can’t express in words how much I loathe the political commentary from people on Facebook. For Christ’s sake post baby photos, wedding pictures…anything else for me to hate you a little less. There’s a reason you work in a warehouse. You’re not a pundit. You’re an idiot.

For better or worse, I’m glad it’s all over.

The election doesn’t matter. What the winner does with the next four years is what’s important. In the last four years, every new job I have accepted has come with a smaller salary than my previous job. If this trend continues, by the time 2016 arrives I may be homeless with little more than my beard to keep my comfy. This country needs a lot of work and the president has a lot of empty boxes in his checklist. It’s a daunting road ahead, one he chose to take. Time will tell how the problems of our country are resolved. Whether you voted for him or not, now’s the time to support our president, look forward and hope for the best.

God bless America and God help us all.